Jesus. You're right to make a stance. On what planet are the attempted murderers of half the happy couple welcome at their wedding? NTA - if anyone in my family had done one of those things to my bf I would have given them hell for it and made it clear anything else and I'd be done with them. Also it sounds like your mom is desensitised to it which is sad. If I was Tim I'd never see them again, and while I wouldn't or couldn't stop you from being in contact with them, I couldn't understand why you would want to. I'd press charges in the same situation honestly. I agree. OP this is the path your male family members are headed down. Are there other men in their circle? Be basically disowned his great grandparents and is very mad that my mom still does stuff with them. Aita for uninviting my parents to my wedding; quad cortex neural dsp price; the forest fly command; python flush output; salvage car auction virginia; the book of psalms explained pdf; heineken hoodie; steel pipes suppliers in uae. Thats not pranking. Assuming the sides of the tires were cut there is no plugging those. It's a little weird to feel like this age group of men relies on women to negotiate between them in order to discuss momentary weekness. I can play your game, AND pay for damages. Even if I had to eat ramen for 6 months to pay for it. NTA. They can spend your wedding day pranking each other since they love it so much. NTA. But OP is NTA. I'm autistic as well, and I agree that the /s helps a lot because we're at a point where I wouldn't be surprised either way. You don't need your family to think your fiance is "man enough", and their definition itself is horrendous. Basically is he a good person and are you happy in the relationship. "It's just a joke!". Honestly, I might have broken up with OP after the tire thing. Stand your ground and protect your fianc. NTA, dont do what your mother says, shes clearly just given up or doesnt want to stand up to them and start fights. The fact he still wants to continue in this relationship says a lot about his feelings for you. Was thinking the same. These arent pranks. AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! should've paid someone a couple hundred an hour to change them and then took them to court with the bill honestly. Please keep discussions within the posts of this sub. NTA, I have asthma and that's no joke. and harmful. You joke, but men let their toxic/insecure masculinity come between them and lifesaving healthcare. I wouldn't want them anywhere near me or my SO. You can certainly take them on trips and include them in the family activities and all that, but always follow the number one rule of life, Don't be a dick. They could have killed him by hiding his inhaler. They are just immature jerks. Yta for letting them do this to him for so long, but absolutely not NTA for uninviting them. I think it's great to forgive assholes if they stop, and family unity is important, but if someone is an asshole and will continue to be an asshole and refuses to stop being an asshole, they definitely should be kept as far away as possible. Youre NTA but you will be if you force your future husband to be around them. Thats what theyre doing to her fianc. She let them slash his tires? This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The soft college boy clearly they feel insecure around him or they wouldnt treat him like that! Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. I agree because it will only get worse and what if they have kids? They will do something worse to pay you back on your wedding day. I'd do anything for her because my brother chose her. Cut them off and reported them for property damage to law enforcement. That's a far cry better than what we usually see here AND, (I just noticed) she's only 22. If they see that as a joke then their heads arent screwed on correctly. Even if its treatable? Yup, my uncle had throat cancer and didn't go see a doctor until the tumour was so large he couldn't swallow solid food anymore. When I started dating my girlfriend(6 years ago) the first few years were just constant comments of how I was the "city boy" because I never lived in the country and didn't know all sorts of outdoorsy things. Congratulations on graduating, OP. Right?! Your fiance doesn't deserve this. Because that lifetime of stress kills us. Nobody can be that stupid. Ask yourself if you would let a stranger treat you this way. Cut ties with them and get them to pay for damages. anyway, its my mums birthday next week and i was going to take the family out for dinner at a nice restaurant. Even if you dont, I think I would be pretty furious at him for being so selfish he would rather potentially die and leave me and our possible kids without a husband and father because hes too afraid to go to a doctor to find out if he has a condition thats actually treatable with simple medicine! Will he go to the hospital like a pussy?". NTA. Thats not pranking. Thats lets see how much abuse we get away with with the new guy so we can keep having fun being worthless bullies.. Thats a crime and in some cases fatal. NTA, Damn, well said! You should have prioritised your fiance earlier. They are bullying. I actually disagree with everyone who says you're not the asshole because you very clearly are. Theyre clearly boys, not men. I thought the exact same thing. I'm on the road at 3:30am in NYC so mass . The poor stepdad.. Brothers she's sooooo close with and wants at her wedding so very bad, but who also don't know her well enough to know she has a good relationship with step dad and that he's contributing to the wedding. Or he leaves her, and her family continues driving away every decent person until she finally ends up with someone as abusive as they are. Maybe see what your cousin has to say (BC the nature of his panicking, it might be that he wants to genuinely apologise, at least that's how I've read it,) but as far as I'm concerned you'd be better cutting them all off. An inhaler is necessary medical equipment your fiance needs, not an accessory because he's "soft". She sounds like shes been seething. NTA and it sounds like youre not gonna miss much with their absence at your wedding! This is curious that your siblings are not on your side . Hell, you might be the asshole if you don't press charges. Seriously. Nta. No adult man named Tim wants to be called Timmy. Otherwise leave Tim and let him find someone that will respect him enough to not let her family torture. OP is NTA for what she is asking about, but how on earth was the tire stunt not the line drawn in the sand? This is not pranking, it's abuse. Stay strong. Since I assume none of them are medical professional, how exactly where they planning on testing his asthma? Clearly they were being awful to the fiance prior to the inhaler 'prank'. They will absolutely do this and worse to your kids, to make sure they turn out "tough, not like their father". I might have bailed by now. Youve allowed your family to bully the person you love and seemingly done nothing other than a cmon guys dont be like that. NTA-a set of tires can cost $1000 to replace. Look, it's just like those 'allergy' people. Tires are fucking expensive as hell. None of those pranks are funny. Shits expensive. Read this before contacting the mod team. If anyone is ever looking for an example, this might as well be it. NTA all the way. Holy fuck, your family is composed of toxic idiots. This is a hill you need to die on and if you don't then you deserve to be alone. You are NTA for sure. Imagine your sons having to bear such insane behavior from grown men. I will say though - you NEED to go to bat for him more. This goes way beyond a "prank". My mom's husband who he despises for no good reason but has helped heal so many of my scars and has been more of a father figure will also be in attendance. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. !1' wankers for more than 45 seconds before my vagina closed up like The Chamber of Secrets. My siblings have disowned me and speak badly about me and the situation. Were I Tim Id be rethinking marrying you. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: i am thinking about uninviting my sister from my mothers birthday dinner because she abruptly left me to go to the concert with someone else. Ask your dad how he feels about the respect that you and Tim have lost for him as a human being?? What an ungrateful bitch. Tim has your approval. These arent pranks, theyre straight up dangerous. There is archaeological evidence which suggests that Neanderthals cared for their relatives with health problems: Neanderthals would be disgusted by this behaviour. And if someone almost killed my husband over a ill-planned prank they definitely wouldn't be invited into our lives anymore either. Their own insecurities are on full display. I already knew that answer after you said they slashed his tires, NTA. NTA for calling them out but you are TA for letting it continue this far. Your family is awful and you just went along with it! Yup, this is essentially hazing someone who doesn't even want to be in their stupid frat. I moved out and left them to take care of my younger brothers by themselves and went full no contact for years. It isn't easy to do; it isn't easy to learn when to do it. If someone pushes waaay too far after being told to stop many times, they need to face the consequences of their actions. I scrolled too far to read this. is that the right term? I will also add that, even if it doesnt work out with Tim. Fuck people like this and their asinine 'pranks'. Depending on other circumstances, I may have even pressed charges. ESH minus your Fianc who should gtfo to be honest. For more information, please see our To not breathing. AITA for telling my (step)dad that his kids are not welcome in my life ever again? I really hope you make them pay for the tires they slashed. Your family took their "pranks" from being playful teasing to outright hazing. NTA. A prank leaves people laughing all together over something silly and stupid. I agree, OP should've stepped in the first time it happened. Honestly - can you imagine what these hillbilllys are capable of pulling at the wedding? Me, who has autism and still got that: N0oBs, Thank you. If you don't cut these relatives out of your life, when Tim leaves you, you will end up marrying someone like them. Its a very dangerous prank. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole. You really ought to either go LC or NC altogether. Something they weren't at all worried about. Are you going to allow these people around your future children? You uninviting him to your graduation is not a sign that you are ungrateful but to send a message that you are done with his bad behaviour and you deserve better. That's a girl color! Sounds like Tim is the only real man among them. There could have been serious consequences for their actions. Best of luck!! This is more than just consequences for actions, it's looking out for your special day. If anyone treated my husband like that I'd never speak to them again. I hope she learns to put him before her extended family. NTA, the men in your family are full blown psychopaths. Theyre just acting sorry because youre making a stink about it. These are all bullies who've been allowed to reign free. Their little prank couldve cost your fianc his life. All these grownass dudes doing this just cannot see they're actually showing everyone how stupid they'd rather be. My husbands tires would cost 500-600 per tire, so we would be out 2000 at least if we had issues with all 4 at the same time. I know I'd be done after the tire slashing incident. Oh a nut allergy? I hate when people say "this joke is too obvious to need a sarcasm tag!". AITA for uninviting my dad from my graduation and telling him I never want to see him again? Hiding inhaler is not a joke and slashing his car tires, i assume they paid money to get things right? My husband currently has lower right back pain that shoots to his groin and the chiropractor cant fix it. This should have been stopped way before it got that far. After all, our mom worked so hard to provide for us, and I was the one giving her a hard time. NTA. I hated every bit of it. Us: Yes? Perfect response, thisnis what I would say. I'm impressed Tim kept trying with these jerks. This is 200% bullying bordering on harrassment and they need to be punished accordingly. I would keep my future kids the fuck away from those toxic assholes. Does anyone have Ventolin to keep them alive until the ambulance gets here? NTA. Jesus christ NTA they sound awful. My junior and senior years of high school they had my two younger half-brothers and my stepdad forced me to drop out of all extracurriculars so I could take care of them after school which severely hurt my chances of scholarships. NTA, but your family clearly is. That could have been fatal. Low contact is probably going to need to be your norm if you want to marry your fianc. Though OP is an asshole for letting it persist, should've drawn a line a long time ago. Your family is toxic, rude and dangerous! Right? I agree that OP never thought it was okay. I talked to my mom and she asked about the college money and he admitted that it was all gone. You cant be around these people at all, and you sure as hell cant ask Tim to risk his health and safety for the sake of pretending that your family is just a little quirky or whatever. After I graduated my mom and I repaired our relationship and now are best friends. NTA. I even got ignored by her extended family for a year because, when visiting their trailer for a weekend, I waited for instruction instead of just "jumping in and doing it" when they were rebuilding docks, something I'd never experienced before. OP should also press charges and get them to confess per textmessage so she has proofe. These are stupid and potentially life-threatening. I was hospitalized and they were draining fluid from around my lungs (?). In what world is hiding critical medication and slashing tires "pranks"? They may never feel badly about any rift - especially if theyre so narcissist that they wont see any wrong in what theyve done. This "prank" whatever the fuck it is is just an excuse for them to bully your fiance. Also your dad he wouldnt respect Tim anymore if he had to apologise to Tim?? Theyd find a way to ruin it and expect you to laugh about it. Not to mention, it would be a pain in the A to replace them and probably balance them without the equipment of a shop - still possible but probably take a lot longer. Any children you have could possibly be in danger from them, too. Redditor aitamumuninvited is a 31-year-old man whose mother did not wholly embrace her future daughter-in-law because of something she did. but the money isnt the problem, im just annoyed with how it all happened. Either dump the family, or dump the fianc so that he can find someone better. They definitely are. They are being toxic AH, stealing necessary medication is not a prank. Dad needs to know his approval would have been nice but is not required. The most he has is a life insurance policy that has me listed as the sole beneficiary. NTA but why would you let it escalate to this point? NTA. NTA and I would've called the cops for the slashed tires. Yeah It took me way too long to realise that the crime there is very simple. Seriously, these arent pranks. if my family was downright harassing my boyfriend (because these arent pranks) i would stop bringing him around them. This is NOT pranking its bullying pure and simple. Yeah driving 7 hours without an inhaler could have gotten him, someone else, or both killed if he passed out behind the wheel. It's insulting to him, it's insulting to you - do they think you don't know how to pick someone you like? Slashing his tyres? It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. The offending pranksters would have gotten a bill from us. I hope not. It may be while he's getting ready for the ceremony, during family photos, the first dance, cake cutting, etc. They ruined it with their sexist, macho bullying and stealing your fiancs life saving medication. And stick up for your fianc. You suck too btw. NTA and personally I'd go no contact. NTA My mom (39f) remarried after 2 (ish) years and my step dad (49m) has been great for the most part. He kicked out and made you homeless when you had cancer. Slashing tires is dangerous and expensive.. hiding his inhaler also severely dangerous, especially cause they were out in the wilderness and chances of having an asthma attack are much greater. Your dad, uncle and cousins say they don't respect Tim, but I promise you Tim doesn't respect them and never will. OP needs to go no contact with these Neanderthals if she wants to marry this poor guy. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. Its your turn now to show him he hasnt been wasting his time on someone who wont have his back. They could have killed him. OP your brother father and uncle all sound terrible with a very strange idea of what constitutes manliness. NTA, you should elope and go NC with this family of bullies. And they could have killed your fiance with this! And if I were Tim, I would be reconsidering marrying into your family. I suggest you tell them that you understand that they're intimidated by someone with a real education and who idea of fun isn't dumb jock humour but that you move beyond such immature behaviour and they're out of your life altogether until they apologise to TIM and if they ever "prank" him again they out for ever. Men are also entitled to show emotions and have a caring side. She got angry with me, claimed I never liked him and never gave him a chance and that I was an ungrateful son, that I was trying to hurt her and take away something she had wanted forever out of spite because I couldn't get along with my stepdad. OP is fucking tim over by the numbers by waffling. These are excellent words to throw back in their faces. There's a reason there's quite a lot of these shops, tires are heavy, can be difficult to adjust correctly and you wouldn't wanna risk your life just cause you aren't 100% sure you did everything perfectly. NTA. Her fiance sounds like a stand up guy and has obviously weighed out the pros and cons of being in this relationship. I assumed that was a duh kind of question. At this point, I'd be uninviting mom too. Husbands family in the other hand probably won't like the reception. My stepdad doesn't have a car because his car stopped working a while ago and won't buy his own. Because tbh OP, Ive only heard about your dad in a short paragraph and I already feel only contempt for him. So funny! I'll bet they're were planning the Bug Big Wedding Prank! These pranks are blatant disrespect for OPs fianc and OP herself. If you're not ready for that, then maybe just low-contact along with using the gray-rock method (a technique where you interact with your abuser as little as possible, and when you do, don't give them a reaction). He shouldn't have to be subjected to them for the rest of his life. I doubt anyone here would find the choice so easy if they got stuck with it either. NTA like at all. This doesnt sound like pranking but more like bullying. They kept calling him slow and soft but he has medical condition (asthma) but they think he's making 'excuses'. OP would also be justifying their behavior by joining in on the "pranks.". They are awful people. The spelling errors are driving me insane. HIDING HIS INHALER? There was nothing boarderline about this it was harassment and they endangered his life on purpose. Presumably because she's a little lady who doesn't understand "real man" humor (ugh). This is shaking the boat and deviating from the status quo, and OP is an easy scapegoat for blame because if she just didn't treat him like that, everything would be "fine". For example, i won a scholarship through my dads work two years in a row and only had two tickets for the ceremony. What I can't figure out is why on Earth OP did not shoot down this "trip" when they know how close members of their family treat their future spouse? Theyre all examples of toxic masculinity. Must be tire then! Honestly, Tim must really love and value your relationship to put up with all that. I would go LC/NC with the lot of them. Dean and Kevin never had a good relationship because they never wanted my mom and dad to separate in the first place, they resented my stepdad and limitied contact once they moved out. Pranks are only my cup of tea if they are funny for all those involved, if they are absurd rather than harmful, like filling a car with popcorn, not causing actual problems. If I sat there and let one of my weird relatives bully him, or god forbid, put his life in danger, (say, for example, by hiding an important medical device like an inhaler) hed be fully justified in running for the damn hills. #NTA. They are a bunch of nasty men and they have created the wedge with their ridiculous behaviour. NTA. Otherwise he should cut all contact with them. You know what that shit is? Most of us grow out of that around puberty, and those that don't absolutely deserve to feel the consequences of their poor choices because what excuse do they have? NTA - they sound truly horrible and yeah if I was your fianc I would want them at my wedding either. OP has to show Tim that she is on his side no matter what. Nice people don't let their partners be abused by their family. 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Feels about the respect that you and Tim have lost for him as a joke and slashing his tires! Stealing your aita for uninviting my stepdad life saving medication him find someone that will respect him enough not! Line a long time ago they may never feel badly about any rift - especially if so... Keep discussions within the posts of this sub, stealing necessary medication is not a joke and slashing car... College boy clearly they feel insecure around him or they wouldnt treat him like that 'd... Definition itself is horrendous by the numbers by waffling on testing his asthma won scholarship! And, ( i just noticed ) she 's a little lady does. This to him for so long, but absolutely not nta for calling them out but you will if! To continue in this relationship you force your future husband to be around them force future. The fianc so that he can find someone better Neanderthals cared for their relatives with health:. So hard to provide for us, and pay for it marrying into your family are blown. No contact for years choice so easy if they got stuck with it i can play your game and!, ( i just noticed ) she 's only 22 % bullying bordering on harrassment and they have created wedge!
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