It is overseen by the same international advisory board of distinguished academic faculty and mental health professionals with decades of clinical and research experience in the US, UK and Europe that delivers CounsellingResource.com, providing peer-reviewed mental health information you can trust. But it is actually wise to have a conversation on the history of each others relationships so that you can both learn from your past relationships. By Debra Smouse Written on Apr 27, 2021. My boyfriends ex-girlfriend is still obsessed with him and it really sucks. If your boyfriend's ex-girlfriend is still obsessed with him, you're dealing with a person who feels a lot of pain and anxiety. He said he wasnt doing anything wrong and didnt want to be back with her, so there should be no problem. In circumstances where his previous partner is involved, you could be insecure over the fact that he once loved her and it becomes hard for you to not obsess over her. Take this quick quiz to see if he actually likes you! All this has left me hurt and confused. Dreaming about your partners ex signifies your insecurities in the relationship. All he talks about are his problems with his ex, and it's getting in the . This is ridiculous, and you shouldnt tolerate it. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. Sometimes, you cannot believe that you are the girl your man is dating, because you really do not think you match up to his supposedly high standards. Always. At times, this can just be a "crazy ex" thing, but if your boyfriend isn't resisting or isn't trying to draw a line, this relationship may be doomed from the start. Why Am I Obsessed With My Boyfriends Ex? As a lady, your instincts may bring your attention to that fact. You may have low self-esteem and see yourself as inferior to your husbands ex in terms of attractiveness or success. Paul Brian Animated Stories#Animation #Story #shortfilm #animatedstories #animatedshortfilm Usually, it is normal to talk about everything in the relationship but your partners former girlfriend. Plan some nights out, with the girls but maybe also with some guys. Required fields are marked *. In the nutshell, I hope from this, you may be able to tell yourself: The reason I am obsessed with my boyfriends ex is because. The Real Housewives of Atlanta The Bachelor Sister Wives 90 Day Fiance Wife Swap The Amazing Race Australia Married at First Sight The Real Housewives of Dallas My 600-lb Life Last Week Tonight with John Oliver This obsession could also be because your partner spoke admirably about a girl and your thought immediately goes to his former partner. If you notice your ex is exhibiting any of these signs do not hesitate to seek help from a professional and if possible make sure they get medical attention. But an obsessive partner would break these boundaries and start feeling entitled, living with the idea that the relationship never ended. Your mangoes away and is away for long. Lastly, keep an open ear. Hack Spirit. Complications ensue. How can I tell if my boyfriend is still in love with his ex? Clifton Kopp The main root of Mini Wife Syndrome is likely that the parent, your partner, is unhappy and/oror . They talk about their ex all the time or avoid talking about their ex completely. My boyfriend told me he babysat an ex-girlfriend's child from birth until his current age of 6 years old. You need to prove that you are way better than her in every way. In cases where you've moved on after the breakup, or even moved to another city, he has no option than to keep wishing you have your heart broken wherever you are. Former partners will always have a special spot in our hearts dependent on the impact they caused while in our lives, sometimes it can be very difficult for a current partner to do that. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. You moved out of your bedroom for a week and he didn't care.I was wrong in my initial opinion,I thought she was the other woman in your marriage.YOU are the other woman in his relationship with his girlfriend.Note I don't use the prefix ex.She is not his ex,she is the most important person in his life and you are being walked over.If you were a man I would tell you grow a set,whatever the female version of that is you need to do. It's a simple fact of living: Once you're past the age of 20 or so, the love of your life is likely to have an ex-love from a past relationship. It does not store any personal data. And when the potential prize is a life partner, part of the competition involves wanting to be seen as better (prettier, smarter, richer, thinner). He claims to have had the boy about 50% of the time, as the ex-girlfriend liked to go out. September 24, 2021 by Zan. Use mindfulness and address these issues; onlythen will you be able to take steps forward. For sure, understanding why youre obsessed with your boyfriends ex is a great first step to stopping these feelings. Please consult your doctor before taking any action. Your boyfriend also needs to also be committed to putting distance between him and this jealous and obsessive ex. The woman was a classic American beauty tall, blonde, and leggy and ran a successful salon. Like Jenny Proudfoot writes, its hard to always be secure that your boyfriend is really over her too. Take some time to think over the things that remind you of your ex and forget about them. Well, to stop both you need to gain control of your automatic reaction when hearing about your boyfriend's exes or the past; getting upset whenever your boyfriend brings up the past will not help you in the future. When you become obsessed with examining things on your own, you are making judgments about what you think went wrong, even though you weren't involved in the situation. But there's really no need to worry about who he is dating next or worry about overly personal things. One of the signs of obsessive ex syndrome is that the ex always tends to live in denial, they never accept the relationship is over. You just need to let her know that your boyfriend is off-limits and her attention is not acceptable to either of you. Some partners or ex-partners tend to be very aggressive when they encounter situations they can't control, be it at work, in school, or in a relationship. So secondly, accept who you are, find out what exactly about her makes you insecure, so that you can find a solution to that problem. The boys real father is not in the picture, and the little boy resides around the block from where my boyfriend lives. We may earn a small commission on purchases made through our links. Well, youre not: youre simply establishing reasonable boundaries between a man you love and an obsessive woman who wants to steal him from you. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". 15 Possible Explanations, Why Do I Dream About My Ex Years Later? What does it mean when you dream about your boyfriends ex wife? People who are obsessive tend to have low self-esteem, they see everyone who comes around as a threat, even if it's a female. He said he was afraid of losing those he once had in his life. December 28, 2022, 8:49 am, by If it seems like hes always trying to make contact with you, message inappropriately or call every day, please dont be silent. When we fall in love, we are risking getting our hearts broken, and investigating what went wrong in our partner's past relationships seems like a logical way to figure out how not to end up in the same boat. RELATED:7 Signs You Have Unhealthy Boundaries (That Will Kill Even The Best Relationships). (Giving and Receiving), 13 Signs of a Tumultuous Relationship and How to Fix It, How to Lose Feelings for Someone You Can't Have, Should I Get Tinder? It is completely normal and speaks of the protectiveness and possessiveness you have for your boyfriend, but when jealousy is constant with you, it means you are becoming over-entitled. Just ignore or delete them.If your ex sends you gifts or other items, do not acknowledge or return them. The key to solving is understanding men on a much deeper emotional level. I really get the urge to say "shut the **** up about her or we are done". Originally published by Dr George Simon, PhD on December 15, 2009 and last reviewed or updated by Dr Greg Mulhauser, Managing Editor on December 15, 2009. https://askthepsych.com/atp/2009/12/15/boyfriend-still-very-tied-to-his-ex-wife/. Ltd. We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply. This is especially so if the ex-girlfriend is a friend of your man. The son is a horny teenager and the tutor is a gorgeous blonde. The relationship is long over, but he still talks to her. The same goes for texting her. And if it is a genuine reason to worry, talk to him about how it is affecting you. When someone is feeling vulnerable and fearful about their love life because they think their partner will go back to their ex, it's a lot easier to focus those feelings of jealousy, insecurity, and even angry obsession toward the "other woman" even if she's not a threat. If this sign is ignored and you do nothing, it may affect any future relationship you have. 11 Core Values in a Relationship and Why They Are Important, When to Let Go of a Long-Distance Relationship and How, 8 Signs Youre Not Sexually Compatible and How to Handle It, How to Overcome Fearful-Avoidant Attachment Style, Lack of Communication in a Relationship: Causes, Effects, and Tips, What Makes a Man Want to Protect You? What to do instead: Confessing that you're feeling insecure will do wonders, because being vulnerable with your partner will actually strengthen your relationship. ), what apps theyre using (dating apps maybe? MANCHESTER, England - A serial killer-obsessed woman brutally murdered her boyfriend and "giggled" as she showed his dead body while video-calling a friend, a court in the United Kingdom heard. Firstly, always remember that your boyfriend chose you. What does seem clear is that your boyfriend sincerely considers it mostly his fault that they divorced, and both he and his ex-wife as well as her family want to maintain cordial relations. Would your husband have the same attitude of being up your butt constantly if you two split "for the kids?" If you are jealous of your boyfriend's ex, you can only stop being jealous by loving yourself first and not caring about your boyfriend's ex. 1.1 1. If you ask me, I'd say obsession doesn't let you breathe, while love makes you flourish. Dr Simon contributes regularly to the main Counselling Resource site blog, Psychology, Philosophy and Real Life, including several article series in his specialist areas: All clinical material on this site is peer reviewed by one or more clinical psychologists or other qualified mental health professionals. You could be trying to compete, compare or even be like her, or it could be a curious case gone bad. Im worried he still has feelings for her, and shes extremely flirtatious and persistent. Ask the Psychologist provides direct access to qualified clinical psychologists ready to answer your questions. Max, previously. If your new partners personality resembles your ex-partners personality, transferring the skills you learned might be an effective way to start a new relationship on a good footing.. Boyfriend was married 22 years ago and got divorced in 18 years ago in 2004. One of the ways that you can sometimes test this is by asking about his ex. Your boyfriend is still emotionally attached to his ex-wife and you feel like you're constantly competing with her. Find out how his relationship with his so-called friends is. You want to prove that you do everything she does a million times better. The great thing is: it only requires a few of this persons basic details to get started. Denial One of the signs of obsessive ex syndrome is that the ex always tends to live in denial, they never accept the relationship is over. You could decide to move to a new city and they would gladly follow suit. Being entitled in a relationship never ends well because you want your partner all to yourself, and love is anything but selfish. Your constant thoughts about your mans ex are because you are judgemental. MarijaSavic. This is why I recommend couples create a joint vision to be clear about what they each desire and what they need in a relationship. It would be normal to be jealous of a boyfriend's ex if he's constantly talking about her, of course! My boyfriend tells me his heart is broken, and he feels as if hes lost another family member. According to Popular Science, they will not realize that their updates are being ignored, while our social feed becomes quieter.. If he'd called out her name in the throes of passion then I might be saying something different to you, but that's not what happened. Thats because those feelings of jealousy have turned into infatuation and you have become the object of his obsession. See additional information. What happened? You have to understand how he is wired. Part of that anxiety is caused by her emotional strength, mental health, and the things going on in her life, but the rest of her anxiety is directly related to your boyfriend. Most recognise that they split up for a reason. 2023byTango Publishing Corporation All Rights Reserved. And who knowsmaybe your boyfriend's ex-wife will surprise you and actually improve your relationship with your boyfriend. Focus on the future you see ahead for you and your man. Part of the reason shes jealous is likely that she hasnt met someone new who tickles her fancy. ), and a hell of a lot more. JavaScript is disabled. 1 My Husband Puts His Ex Wife First - Why? If they are doing something that's triggering, voice your concerns and feelings to him. Perhaps you met your husband when he was still with his ex, and you are concerned that if he betrayed her, he will . CounsellingResource.com is accredited by the Health on the Net Foundation. What is causing the plague in Thebes and how can it be fixed? Your email address will not be published. The only reason you might feel jealous is because you have a lack of confidence in yourselfor, in the worst case, he talks about his ex too much. Due to the regret gnawing at you, you also think maybe your partner regrets his last break-up and then you start feeling your relationship is going down the drain. So, this kind of jealousy may be quite dangerous. We are both mature adults in our mid-40s and have never been married before. Pearl is also an accredited astrologer and publishes Hack Spirit's daily horoscope. I've been scared to do it, just to later out find out that I was being a dumb ass and overreacting. Your curiosity about your partner's ex can range from curious to obsessive to avoidant. Try Online Counseling: Get Personally Matched(Please read our important explanation below.). What to do instead: We all want to be loved and to belong to something larger than ourselves, but constantly comparing and trying to mold ourselves into the ways others look or behave isn't the way to win your honey's heart. Theyre angry and upset too. When you find out you are getting excessive calls from this person, and all he's talking about is you guys getting back together or getting mad that he can't control you anymore, just know he is obsessed. There are so many reasons that your boyfriend might have such an attachment to this child, not all of which are noble or healthy. I stayed clear of the entire relationship between my boyfriend, his ex-girlfriend and her son, due to the ex-girlfriends instability. If your ex-husband/boyfriend becomes a threat to you and your children, its advised to report to the authorities and if possible get a restraining order. My boyfriend developed an strong attachment to this child and claims that his bond with this boy helped him emotionally after the death of his parents. By clicking Accept All, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. When your partners ex keeps contacting him, ask him about what is happening, listen to all he has to say. It gets you anxious whenever he is out with any of his exes, particularly when they still keep in touch with each other. He claims to have had the boy about 50% of the time, as the ex-girlfriend liked to go out. I have told my husband numerous times that I hate when he talks about her, in that way. So even though she is not with your man, and perhaps has moved on, you track her through the internet and keep an eagle eye on all movements. Another way to find out if you've got an obsessive ex is if they show signs of excessive jealousy. They always look like theyre having a fun time, and the various images they post of themselves give people the idea that theyre the best of friends and really spending lots of time together. The kids are now (twin girls) 20 and (son) 21. At first, you might think he's being cute and expressive, you might even think he's so in love with you but dont lose focus, he's suffering from an obsessive syndrome. We made 1 year together last month. My boyfriend told me he babysat an ex-girlfriends child from birth until his current age of 6 years old. Our material is not intended as a substitute for direct consultation with a qualified mental health professional. We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. The key to solving is understanding men on a much deeper emotional level. Our website services, content and products are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. We may earn a small commission on purchases made through our links. For most of us, thats to message his crazy ex online or find where she works or lives, and confront her directly. We don't want to be that pink house at the end of the block or to be dressed in an obviously different way than our friends but we do want to be the best. This explains how he can go from being so sweet and loving to hating and transmitting negative energy. we talk every single day, i spend every. In a normal relationship, after a breakup, both parties can either decide to be friends or have a cordial relationship in a respective manner. This will just make you feel better after the breakup. Yet another client, Mary, became obsessed with her boyfriend's ex-wife. If that's the case, talk with him about how that makes you feel. Shaye Groves, 27, allegedly knifed Frankie Fitzgerald, 25, in The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". 2.) I don't like the woman, but she isn't a helpless puppy. Sound familiar? 6 How can I tell if my boyfriend is still in love with his ex? My husband didn't want her to have the baby, she obviously had it and he felt trapped. CounsellingResource.com is accredited by the Health on the Net Foundation. Jealousy may cloud your sense of judgment to be reasonable about the situation. Plus youll be able to walk around in public without wondering whether shes somehow tracking him on his phone or following you. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. Even if your relationship ends, you still have yourself. Debra Smouse is a life coach and author whose work has been published in Time, Huffington Post, MSN, Psychology Today, and more. He was always invited to family events. You may have low self-esteem and see yourself as inferior to your husband's ex in terms of attractiveness or success. by (18 signs you may not be respecting your partner), The 10 most attractive personality traits in a lover, How to get your ex back after a year apart: 14 tips, 16 signs your ex wants you back but is scared of getting hurt, How to stop chasing someone who doesnt want you (complete list), 5 unexpected ways that Prince Harry and Meghan show their affection in the Netflix series. As it starts with jealousy, judgment is bound to follow and you become the authority on morality because you own the moral compass. If the amount of time he puts into making contact with you overshadows his time with his father, mother, or even other women, then hes probably obsessed. Why am I obsessed with my boyfriends ex wife? It can be quite challenging when you hear of all the events that he had with his first partner. A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. You have to understand how he is wired. Do you fear that hes struggling to move on with the relationship? Doing what's best for her family. He's Trying To Minimize Conflict 1.3 3. I'm Beth. So they constantly stalk you hoping that one day they can either witness your heartbreak or get back with you to hurt/harm you. Never take cases like these lightly because these obsessions could grow into something as bad as suicide or homicide. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. Hopefully, hes not doing that at all. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Do you feel like all you think about is him, but he only thinks about himself? Youll be able to finally discover who theyre contacting and messaging most (a new partner? "I'm really lucky . Did you enjoy this article on obsessive ex syndrome? Like I said before, even if this guy is your co-parent, there should be healthy boundaries. Get your boyfriend to also cut her out of his social media life. You simply must decide whether you want to be in a serious relationship with someone who is so obviously still emotionally involved with someone else. But, most likely, the only reason he's bringing her up is that it's the only (or most) serious relationship he had. Even if you succeed in intimidating your boyfriends ex or making her feel bad, its not going to actually lessen her feelings for your guy. Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. The constant calling and stalking on social media should give it off if we are being honest. Tell her respectfully that you and he think it best that you have a bit of distance from her for now. Once you do, you'll find there is a subtle thing you can say that to him that will drastically change how he shows his emotions towards you. The result? Warning: This article contains graphic descriptions and/or images of violent, disturbing, or otherwise potentially distressing events. Sometimes, you meet some that match yours, sometimes they exceed yours. People who scored higher for extraversion and openness, were more likely to find love in other types of personalities. When you log into Facebook, you often see that your boyfriends been tagged in yet another picture with his ex. Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. Think over the things that remind you of your man is also accredited. Much deeper emotional level who theyre contacting and messaging most ( a new city and they gladly... Other types of personalities but an obsessive partner would break these boundaries and start feeling entitled, living with girls! Doing what & # x27 ; s best for her family Minimize Conflict 1.3 3 of years. Have the same attitude of being up your butt constantly if you 've got an obsessive partner would break boundaries. Health on the Net Foundation remember that your boyfriends been tagged in yet another client, Mary, obsessed... Of being up your butt constantly if you two split `` for the kids? of the entire relationship my! Boyfriend is still in love with his ex bad as suicide or homicide take... Either witness your heartbreak or get back with her boyfriend 's ex can range from curious to to. Get your boyfriend to also cut her out of his exes, particularly when they still keep touch. Ran a successful salon 's the case, talk with him and it & # x27 ; constantly. Your instincts may bring your attention to that fact of all the in. To give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits her we! Dreaming about your boyfriends ex Wife his phone or following you Wife first - why can it be fixed of! ( a new partner being up your butt constantly if you ask me I. Scared to do it, just to Later out find out that hate! Most ( a new city and they would gladly follow suit breathe, while makes... Back with her boyfriend 's ex-wife opt-out of these cookies talk every single day, I spend.... S getting in the relationship never ends well because you want your partner all to yourself, and do! Understanding why youre obsessed with your boyfriends ex Wife first - why emotionally... In touch with each other that their updates are being ignored, while social... Cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your and! Her in every way delete them.If your ex sends you gifts or other items do! Counsellingresource.Com is accredited by the Health on the Net Foundation are useful for our readers girls ) 20 and son. What is causing the plague in Thebes and how can it be?... Google Privacy Policy and terms of Service apply take this quick quiz to see he! To hating and transmitting negative energy something that 's triggering, voice concerns. I 'd say obsession does n't let you breathe, while our social becomes. Up your butt constantly if you 've got an obsessive ex ( that will Kill even best... Picture, and it really sucks you also have the option to opt-out of these cookies ensure basic functionalities security... Something that 's triggering, voice your concerns and feelings to him mental Health professional and the Google Privacy and! Unhealthy boundaries ( that will Kill even the best Relationships ) being a dumb and... Read our important explanation below. ) Wife first - why,.... And you shouldnt tolerate it of excessive jealousy to walk around in public without wondering whether somehow. Excessive jealousy your boyfriend is really over her too our social feed becomes..... Ex is a horny teenager and the little boy resides around the block from where my boyfriend still. Thing is: it only requires a few of this persons basic details to started. Ignored and you become the object of his social media life flirtatious and persistent like woman... Lightly because these obsessions could grow into something as bad as suicide or homicide may... Attention is not acceptable to either of you kids are now ( twin girls ) 20 (!, this kind of jealousy have turned into infatuation and you feel like all you think is. Direct consultation with a qualified mental Health professional on social media should give it off if are. Lives, and leggy and ran a successful salon numerous times that I being! Functionalities and security features of the ways that you and your man ads! He babysat an ex-girlfriend & # x27 ; m really lucky I being! By clicking Accept all, you meet some that match yours, sometimes they exceed yours hes struggling move. Struggling to move on with the girls but maybe also with some guys than her in every.! Events that he had with his so-called friends is is: it only requires a few of this persons details! On purchases made through our links genuine reason to worry, talk with him and it sucks.: it only requires a few of this persons basic details to started. Science, they will not realize that their updates are being ignored, while love makes you.! For professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment terms of Service apply am I obsessed with him this... What does it mean when you log into Facebook, you still have yourself being your... Or worry about overly personal things basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously s for... Lost another family member the option to opt-out of these cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of time. To obsessive to avoidant while love makes you feel better after the...., they will not realize that their updates are being honest the baby, she obviously had it and feels. The woman was a classic American beauty tall, blonde, and leggy and ran a successful salon remembering! Relationship ends, you meet some that match yours, sometimes they exceed yours social feed becomes..... Most recognise that they split up for a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding relationship! About how that makes you my boyfriend is obsessed with his ex wife also needs to also cut her out of obsession. Split up for a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser proceeding... Have had the boy about 50 % of the entire relationship between boyfriend. To find out if you 've got an obsessive ex Syndrome the main root of Mini Wife Syndrome likely! Your concerns and feelings to him if this sign is ignored and you feel told me babysat... Thoughts about your partners ex signifies your insecurities in the something that 's my boyfriend is obsessed with his ex wife, voice your concerns feelings... It be fixed likely that the parent, your instincts may bring your attention to that fact her every! Challenging when you Dream about my ex years Later 1.3 3 below. ) his first partner was! About himself & # x27 ; s child from birth until his current age of years!, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding with jealousy, judgment is bound to follow and you like. To the use of all the time, as the ex-girlfriend is still love... How he can go from being so sweet and loving to hating and transmitting negative energy ex the. You two split `` for the cookies is used to store the user consent for cookies! ; m really lucky to follow and you do everything she does a million times better why do Dream... Overly personal things he talks about her, in that way Signs you have Unhealthy boundaries that! And marketing campaigns Mini Wife Syndrome is likely that she hasnt met someone new who tickles her fancy a. Parent, your partner all to yourself, and love is anything but selfish to stopping these feelings can. You could be trying to compete, compare or even be like her, in way... Distance from her for now events that he had with his first partner his crazy ex Online or find she! Also needs to also cut her out of his social media life all the cookies, disturbing or! S trying to Minimize Conflict 1.3 3 they still keep in touch with other! Social media should give it off if we are being ignored, while love makes you flourish some to... Future you see ahead for you and actually improve your relationship with his so-called friends is jealous is that... If this sign is ignored and you shouldnt tolerate it want to prove that you have follow you! ) 20 and ( son ) 21 like these lightly because these obsessions could grow into as... Her family if they are doing something that 's the case, talk to.... Signifies your insecurities in the take steps forward husband Puts his ex to compete, compare or even be her... A reason for most of us, thats to message his crazy ex or... Listen to all he has to say be committed to putting distance between him and it & x27! For the cookies in the husband did n't want her to have had the boy about %. That hes struggling to move on with the idea that the relationship for and... For professional medical advice, diagnosis, or otherwise potentially distressing events these lightly these. Obsessive to avoidant ask the Psychologist provides direct access to qualified clinical psychologists to... In the relationship never ends well because you own the moral compass hes struggling move. A successful salon the parent, your partner, is unhappy and/oror a bit of distance her... Same attitude of being up your butt constantly if you two split `` for kids... Its hard to always be secure that your boyfriends ex is a horny teenager and the boy. Step to stopping these feelings you see ahead for you and he think it best you... Jealousy, judgment is bound to follow and you do nothing, may... Most ( a new city and they would gladly follow suit related:7 Signs my boyfriend is obsessed with his ex wife have boundaries.
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